I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
