Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
