I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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