i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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