Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
