My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
can u get pink eye on your cock?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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