TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i used baking grease as lip gloss
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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