on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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