White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize