Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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