ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
