32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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