I think im going to throw up on grandma
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
