And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Barsexuality is the new black.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Randomize
