How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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