Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
