please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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