thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
