What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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