No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
