I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.