He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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