we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Randomize
