Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.

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  (310): so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking. http://tfl.nu/vds8
  Replies (9) Good night (2597) Bad night (641)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.

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  (757): I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving. http://tfl.nu/twkc
  Replies (36) Good night (3155) Bad night (1174)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus

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  (727): Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus http://tfl.nu/l3dr
  Replies (17) Good night (3006) Bad night (829)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer

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  (206): genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer http://tfl.nu/ip3a
  Replies (40) Good night (4325) Bad night (776)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Did we have sex last night?

  (1-706): View more from Georgia

  I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.

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  (706): Did we have sex last night? (1-706): I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me. http://tfl.nu/f9pg
  Replies (16) Good night (809) Bad night (6374)
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  (310): View more from California

  When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth

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  (310): When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth http://tfl.nu/ve5l
  Replies (17) Good night (4707) Bad night (1090)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time

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  (254): I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time http://tfl.nu/rajz
  Replies (21) Good night (8470) Bad night (1005)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.

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  (520): 2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out. http://tfl.nu/1knp
  Replies (26) Good night (8296) Bad night (1761)
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  (+91): View more from India

  Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.

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  (+91): Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not. http://tfl.nu/eg4c
  Replies (34) Good night (1711) Bad night (4031)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".

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  (617): my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl". http://tfl.nu/voy6
  Replies (12) Good night (5735) Bad night (1198)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?

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  (203): Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow? http://tfl.nu/0nq6
  Replies (1) Good night (630) Bad night (687)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.

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  (616): i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm. http://tfl.nu/enq5
  Replies (3) Good night (990) Bad night (391)
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  (626): View more from California

  i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over

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  (626): i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over http://tfl.nu/mit8
  Replies (1) Good night (312) Bad night (563)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been

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  (443): I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been http://tfl.nu/ofdd
  Replies (0) Good night (412) Bad night (189)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year

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  (208): I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year http://tfl.nu/kbnc
  Replies (0) Good night (187) Bad night (168)

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