I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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