I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye