yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain