O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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