Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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