Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
