I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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