She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
