Screwed.edu
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Come share oat with me in your robe
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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