I think scott just propositioned me for sex
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
