TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
