Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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