11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
