All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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