wat bout pragnant strippers??
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
