he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
