I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
