Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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