Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Randomize
