Having a random hookup so left but love u
It's Friday. Sex?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
