Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
