all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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