Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Randomize
