yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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