Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
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The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
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Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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