There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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