btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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