Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
