ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.