Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it

(508): View more from Massachusetts

I dont have a dog?

(774): View more from Massachusetts

WTF

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(217): View more from Illinois

It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(847): View more from Illinois

Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight

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(760): View more from California

Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!

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(631): View more from New York

he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan

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(856): View more from New Jersey

He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.

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