Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans

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  (203): maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans http://tfl.nu/l2qt
  Replies (36) Good night (728) Bad night (1991)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance

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  (918): Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance http://tfl.nu/628h
  Replies (12) Good night (3354) Bad night (520)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life

  (619): View more from California

  with a huge shlong

  (440): View more from Ohio

  massive. i wanna make bitches cry

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  (440): if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life (619): with a huge shlong (440): massive. i wanna make bitches cry http://tfl.nu/imk4
  Replies (39) Good night (5802) Bad night (782)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.

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  (636): I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks. http://tfl.nu/gzvr
  Replies (40) Good night (1061) Bad night (4460)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'

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  (916): Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon' http://tfl.nu/xx25
  Replies (19) Good night (3568) Bad night (756)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night

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  (908): its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night http://tfl.nu/akir
  Replies (73) Good night (1754) Bad night (5582)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.

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  (760): I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college. http://tfl.nu/m4jf
  Replies (52) Good night (4408) Bad night (763)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday

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  (506): just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday http://tfl.nu/uetg
  Replies (7) Good night (2400) Bad night (1068)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party

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  (512): honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party http://tfl.nu/io10
  Replies (6) Good night (2207) Bad night (586)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies

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  (248): we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies http://tfl.nu/8d5i
  Replies (10) Good night (1838) Bad night (891)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.

  (1-316): View more from Kansas

  I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.

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  (316): Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend. (1-316): I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome. http://tfl.nu/5svt
  Replies (2) Good night (809) Bad night (1081)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  He was the only guy who ever made me cry..

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?

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  (330): He was the only guy who ever made me cry.. (1-330): Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach? http://tfl.nu/1khh
  Replies (2) Good night (2297) Bad night (599)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me

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  (218): Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me http://tfl.nu/p7wy
  Replies (2) Good night (855) Bad night (258)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen

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  (610): Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen http://tfl.nu/wlxj
  Replies (5) Good night (976) Bad night (368)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.

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  (425): I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it. http://tfl.nu/yofk
  Replies (1) Good night (939) Bad night (489)

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