In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.