i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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