Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
