Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize