rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
