I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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