the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
