i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
