Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
where are you?
Hypothermia
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
