Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize