Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
