It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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