11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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