I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
