He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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