Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He passed out mid-signature
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
